I've missed you. Genuinely. I'll explain my absence as we muse & music on a Wednesday. It's chapter 2 of 12! January is gone. The "NEW YEAR" just got real. Time to pause and reread our resolutions and recommit to making it a reality this month.
When I started UH it was and is a place where I could both bring my hurts and my fantastical Idea that love for self, others, and life can truly bring joy and love to our lives, through self expression. No matter what we've experienced. I welcomed you to bring yours too. I wanted a place for myself where I could be myself. A place where I could be honest; where I could document how I planned to challenge life back after it kicked me in the teeth and dared me to get back up.
So it's not surprise to me that I find myself here musing on a Wednesday and sharing not only the joys of my life but the pain. Going into chapter 2 of 12 in the book of 2015. I've been challenged deeply to my core. (I laugh as I type this as life is funny that way. I guess I can't be upset because it's direct huh? )
I loss my dad recently, and Grief is tough. The reality that death is absolutely final, is a new personal reality. Me and my dad had a complicated relationship which tends to be the case with parents and their kids sometimes. But regardless of our tough relationship, it didn't stop me from feeling his loss. It didn't stop me from asking myself questions like "Who am I in absence of him?" and "Who am I in light of him?", "What does this say to me about my time on this earth and my legacy?" and "What does this time of vulnerability, feeling loss and lost say to me about the relationships in my life." The things that I believe in and the people that I trust with my stuff.
Who knew I'd have so many questions and so many conflicted feelings. Who knew my reaction would challenge me to look at the soul of me and challenge the relationships that are apart of me. Questioning my very place in this big, big world. Wondering if I was made for this place.
I believe that my dad is at peace. He'd gotten sick of recent and just didn't recover. So I believe that his suffering is over, and prayerfully he can rest in peace.
I took a walk yesterday and brought my sidewalk chalk along. Inviting myself back into the place in my life where I always feel like I belong, and all things make sense. My Creative Space. Where rainbows are roads and clouds are cars, much like the Kingdom of Caring, which made up Care-a-lot (the home of the Care Bears proper) and the Forest of Feelings (home to the Care Bear Cousins). Real talk that's what my creative world looks like! I'm a Die hard Care Bear Kid-- Thanks mom and dad!
This weeks Song is Ghost by Ella Henderson. Honestly her whole album I've played on repeat at least 5 times But this songs hook and chorus I vibe right now!
♫ "GIVE UP THE GHOST" "NO MORE HAUNTING BABY"♫
Have you ever experienced a loss close to you? Did it make you take stock of the relationships in your life? Where and Why Your investing your life and time?
As Always you are Unbelievably Human, So Be UNBELIEVABLY YOU!
I am a love in action advocate and renaissance woman! If you haven't already check out my store! Our LOVE Boxes, and other cute accessories! You can here! Check out our Unbelievably Human YOUTUBE channel and let's be social!